Plato's Closet

I finally completed the dreaded task of cleaning out my closet. And I don't mean metaphorically.

Now, those of you who know me realize that I have far too many clothes. I mean, when the closet in your extra room is just as full in the one in your own room, there are some red flags. Part of the problem lies in the fact that I am a stage one hoarder. This, my friends, comes with teaching. There is a sickness that every teacher possesses that makes us want to hold on to everything for 10 years longer than appropriate, and then still feel anxious when we finally throw it away. (Take, for example, the bag of cereal boxes, coffee containers, and eggs cartons that I WILL be using for a class project someday. I swear.)

Milling through my clothing was like taking a walk of shame down memory lane. I don't know what's worse: the fact that I used to wear a Britney Spears tie-up top, or that fact that I've held onto it for 10 years, thinking that there MIGHT be a time when I'll need it again. Although horrific and painfully out of style, there's something slightly satisfying about still owning clothes from middle school. (Don't kid yourself, you all know what I mean. How good does it feel when your middle school clothes still fit you!?) Then, there's always that thought.... "Wait... I know... I won't get rid of this! I'll just put it in the costume box!!!" That's what I like to call a win-win. Out of the closet, into a box, and still the possibility of using it in the future. (Issues, I know.)

After hours of sorting and trying on two closets worth of clothes, I was finally finished:

My clothes, nicely folded and organized for our trip to Plato's Closet.

Yes, I know it's pathetic that I only came up with one bag. But hey, you have to start somewhere. And like I said: stage one hoarder.

I quickly devised a strategy for my trip to Plato's Closet:

1.) Look cute and stylish. Who wouldn't want clothes from someone who looks stylish?! After my friends have had multiple "cardigan interventions" with me, this was more challenging than expected.
2.) Place all expensive clothing on the top of the bag. Yes, I ordered my clothing. The Banana Republic, Ralph Lauren, and clothing with tags that had never been worn went on top.
3.) Choose a good Plato's Closet. I decided to go for the West Side Plato's Closet. Although the East Side is closer to my hood, it's slightly ghetto. And, let's be serious, not quite the polo crowd.

Upon arriving at Plato's Closet, I realized that the women who was about to tear apart my wardrobe (well, 1/100 of my wardrobe) had no style herself. As she went through the items, I pretended to browse the items in the store, but was secretly watching her. OK- for real though- there was actually a FULL rack of sweater vests in there. I thought, "Pssh, this place needs some Banana Republic up in here. No sweat." She called me back to give the report. She placed a basket of 7 items in front of me and said, "I'll give you $16.20 for these." Umm, REALLY? Talk about a picky b! $16.20!? One of those items has a TAG ON IT FOR $75.00 YOU IGNORANT WOMAN!! < I wish I would have said that. I believe my response was, "Uhhhh, OK." And so begins my hatred of Plato's Closet. Apparently they are only looking for 80's style sweater vests and American Eagle zip-ups. Oh, but it should be noted that they took my Britney Spears style tie-up shirt. Good luck selling that, morons.

I got back in my car with this:

My clothes, mistreated and rejected by random un-stylish chick at Plato's Closet.

Although the bag actually looks more full, it's solely due to the fact that the woman destroyed my fancy organization. There are actually 7 items missing folks. Maybe I should take this as a sign... I should never get rid of my old clothes. Or, maybe I should have used a Nordstrom's bag for my clothes instead of a paper grocery bag? I guess we'll never know. Some of you may be wondering, "What did she do with that $16.20?" Well, don't worry, I put it to good use. I bought a $60 purse. (For real, what's wrong with me!?) In about 10 years, when it's out of style, I'm sure you'll find it at Plato's Closet for $2.

I was just defeated by Plato's Closet. THAT happened?!