Dating: Proof that the Universe Hates Me, Part 3

Part 3: Date Night, Expect the Unexpected
It had arrived- my Tuesday night date with Mr. Kool. Ms. Cablam told me earlier in the day that "Tuesday is the most unflattering night to have a date, because it's so far from the weekend." My response? "Well, it's no wonder I picked it then."

I was pretty much letting Mr. Kool call the shots. And no, I don't mean actual shots. (My dates sometimes come to this, so it's important to clarify.) After a text debate about possible bars, Mr. Kool narrowed it down to two places, and had me make the final decision. For practical purposes, I picked the bar closest to me. It happened to be the bar I spent all weekend in, but what can ya do?

Now, Mr. Kool had made the rookie mistake of facebook friending me before meeting me. Seriously guys, don't give me material to judge you before I even meet you.... because I will. And I will decide I don't like you for some ridiculous reason like, "you wear too many American Apparel v-neck t-shirts." So, upon meeting Mr. Kool, I was pleasantly surprised that he was more attractive in person. (And at least his v-neck tee was mostly covered by a button-up plaid shirt.) Very pretty eyes, dark hair, some scruff, kind of short, but taller than me. Case-in-point, people: lay off the premature facebook friending.

Everyone has those dejavoux feelings. Lately, most of mine have been happening while I'm in bars. As Mr. Kool picked a spot for us to sit, I had that feeling yet again. We ended up in the same exact spot that I was in with Ms. Cablam, a few days earlier, when we met Gimp and Money. Hey, maybe it's my lucky spot? Before we even had our coats off, we were talking about teaching. Clearly, this is a topic that we both could go on about forever, so it was a safe bet. The very first question I asked was what subjects he teaches, since he teaches high school. As he started talking, a group of 4 people came over right next to us, and were about to sit down. (We were at a long island with stools.) I glanced over, and noticed one person was on crutches. "No way that could possibly be Gimp," I thought. Oh, but silly me. After all, this is MY life, and I always need to expect the unexpected.

I looked back at Mr. Kool, pretending like I was listening. Then, I looked back at the group next to me.... just in time to make direct eye contact with GIMP. Fml. I was in the same exact spot that I met him in, but with another guy. At this point, Mr. Kool could have been talking about Guam for all I knew. I was nodding and smiling like a guy who is pretending to listen to a girl during sports. I was on the verge of ruining not one, but two dates in the same night. Impressive, I know. I debated saying hello. How would he know that I was on a date? I also debated throwing Mr. Kool under the bus and hanging out with Gimp instead. But instead, I kept my eyes on Mr. Kool and pretended that somehow, I didn't see Gimp 2 feet away from me. I was praying that he didn't sit down next to me, so he wouldn't hear what was very clearly a first-time-get-to-know-you-awkward-date-conversation. At this point, I knew I had to do something more than nodd and smile at Mr. Kool, but I also hadn't been listening, so I couldn't really ask a meaningful question. Instead, I went with the standard, "So which class do you enjoy teaching the most?" to buy me more time of zoning out. It worked. I heard Gimp debating with his friends on where to sit. His friends all wanted to sit there, and he suggested moving. Clearly, he either saw me ignore him, or doesn't want to see me. Not sure which is worse. Luckily, Gimp and Co. went to a booth behind us, but still stayed at the same bar. At this point, I was literally sweating. I'm pretty sure I blacked out the next 15 minutes of the date. Actually, I'm positive I did.

After a horrible start to the date, and trying to get over the fact that I probably will not hear from Gimp again, the rest of the date went pretty well. I felt very comfortable and at-ease around Mr. Kool. He was very intelligent, and seemed normal enough. I could tell that he wanted to stay longer after we finished our drinks, but couldn't read me at all. (Success, I thought.) He ended up saying that he is up for another drink... well...if I am too... because he doesn't want to stay and drink alone... Well, beer turned into beers, and beers turned into mixed drinks, and 3 1/2 hours later, it was definitely past two teacher bedtimes. The end of the date is always interesting. Now, I have definitely perfected the "act uninterested and/or hard to read." I can't change that even if I wanted to, so I did this: hug, paired with a "nice to meet you, have a good week." I figure, the hug is warm enough to cancel out the fact that I mention nothing about meeting up again. He said, "you too" and started walking. Then, he turned and said, "we'll talk soon." And, we did.

The next night, I received a follow-up text, saying that he had a great time and would like to see me again. Unfortunately, I was still fixated on my terrible encounter of the Gimpy Kind. But, in the spirit of 2012 resolutions, and due to the fact that he didn't end up drunk on my couch or make me steal from a bar, I agreed to a second date.

Went on a date, and ruined a different one. That happened.